i am sassa

Staaaahhhp whatever you’re doing and go watch Hannah Gadsby’s Netflix Comedy Special Nanette. Please. For me. For you. For your children, your future children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews. For your students or your patients or the next stranger you encounter.

Her stand-up was suggested to me by a friend awhile back. He said if I watched, I may be inspired to paint her. I read enough about her to be really excited to listen, so I sketched her and queued up her special to listen while I painted. I’m usually decent at multi-tasking. I have a mount for my iPad on my easel, and I split the screen so I can see reference images and also listen to interviews or documentaries or movies about whoever I’m painting that day. I have not, until today, had any issue with doing both. I feel I can paint and also absorb what I’m hearing. This painting took twice as long today, and it’s because I kept stopping to watch her speak. And of all the things I play while I paint, stand-up comedy is not particularly visual. Usually the audio does just fine, so why was I so distracted? This woman’s words resonated so deeply for me that I wanted to be fully present for them. I am not exaggerating when I say I found myself literally on the edge of my seat watching her.

I don’t want to give much away, but I want to persuade you to watch. Nanette became famous because in it, Hannah breaks the rules of comedy. She completely destroys the contract between comedian and viewer, the one that spells out an understanding of what is to come. The promise that whatever tension is created during the build-up of a joke will be released with the punchline, easing the discomfort of the audience. In most cases, I think this betrayal of trust would create a rift between comedian and viewer. It reminds me of a writing class I took that spelled out the trouble with using an unreliable narrator. But in the case of Nannette, I didn’t feel betrayed by its unexpected turn at all. Maybe I read enough before hand that it wasn’t unexpected enough. In any case, I am not alone, because it broke the internet apparently and was insanely popular.

Personally, I feel gobsmacked by her words and completely inspired in a way I don’t think I understand yet. There are so many levels to it. It makes me want to understand the science of laughter just as much as it makes me want to self-reflect. I so deeply identify with the tension she talks about that just exists all the time around people who are in one way or another marginalized. It made me think about the ways I’ve internalized that in my own life and made it my responsibility to ease that tension in others. I could go on about this forever, but I won’t. Watch Nanette, and then find me and talk to me about it. I’m gonna drink tea and ponder on it for days.

Thank you, Hannah Gadsby.