i am sassa

I AM SO MAD.

It is taking ALL my effort not to leave my caps lock on. I had a dumb night where I didn’t sleep more than like one hour, and I gave in and started looking for people to paint.
I looked up some list of Badass women, and Marilyn Monroe was on it, which led me to think about Judy Garland, because all I really knew about her was that she had an addiction problem. And now I'm furious. Why didn't anyone tell me?! Dorothy and I have SO MANY mutual friends! How did I not know?!?

Guys. She was straight up ABUSED. Tragic doesn’t even begin to cover her life story. Yes, she did drugs, but it was because her mom started giving them to her when she WAS TEN. She was pushed into show business as a freaking toddler, and loaded with uppers before she was even a teenager. She grew up in a very unstable household, essentially leaving it to enter into a contract with MGM Studios, which was run by Voldemort and Satan.

Studio executives shamed Judy into losing weight, calling her a “fat pig”, “ugly duckling”, and a “hunchback”. They capped her teeth and shoved plastic up her nose to change it's shape. MGM cafeteria workers brought her only soup and lettuce regardless of what she ordered. She was pumped full of drugs to keep her awake for grueling work days that left little time for school. During filming for the Wizard of Oz, Judy was repeatedly groped and propositioned for sex, EVEN BY THE FRICKING MUNCHKINS. She was sixteen. They were forty-ish. And her gingham dress was reportedly chosen to “blur” her figure, which they found to be…who the hell knows?!? Who cares what MGM found a sixteen year old girl’s figure to be?!?

Judy battled addiction her entire life, married five assholes, and attempted suicide several times before ultimately dying of an overdose. About halfway through reading about her, I thought, I can’t paint her. There’s no light to this story at all. I used my dog Carol as a tissue and she’s still soaking wet and it’s all the patriarchy’s fault. But I'm painting her, dammit, because the light in her story is HER. She was perfect. Absolutely flawlessly brilliantly PERFECT, as are all of you women. You are all badasses, as blindingly bright as the sun, and I would kick a perverted munchkin in the throat for each and every one of you.

Thank you, Judy Garland.